Sidereal Sex Signs

"Instinct" By Hiroko Sakai

Aries (April 14-May 14)
Aries comes in like the lamb, and goes out like the beast, sexually. Sometimes the victim of agression or intimidation at the start of a sexual encounter, Aries soon becomes the master and even, the victimizer. The Aries, when knocked down, gets up stronger. Aries likes, even enjoys, a good fight before sex. Break up to make up could be an Aries game.

According to Starsky and Cox's Sextrology St8 Aries men's turn-ons are: small breasts, long hair, active b&d, passive oral and active anal. Gay Aries men like leather, boots, outdoor sex, bodybuilders, b&d, s&m, (lite) torture and humilation. St8 Aries women like younger men, big penises, ffm threesomes, cuckholding, groveling, and role-reversal. Gay Aries women like first encounters, performing striptease, seducing straight women, active penetration, rough housing and mind games.

Taurus (May 15-June 14)
What’s the most frightening thing in the world for you? Losing your gold coin collection? No, worse, it’s poor health. If you feel listless, lackluster and lumpy, don’t worry. These times are made for preparation. Never the first out of the gate, Taurus will always finish the race in better shape than when you started it. Total sexual exertion is good for the body. Sweat out the mucus, dump out the crap and you’ll feel like a million bucks. The fastest way to sexual numbness is to become obese. Taurus will not be able to gauge how objectionable and unsexy his or her fat body can be, and needs to be reminded every day.

Gemini (June 15-July 16)
Nobody ever talks about Gemini sexuality. It’s assumed you don’t have any. However, words turn you on in a big way, erotic situations stimulate you, even funny ones! Luckily, you have no inner core of red hot need that makes you act like an idiot, like the others. You’re connected to a much higher plane of excitement: a smile, a glance, a hint of love’s fresh breath on your cheek. Gemini love has a great nobility that sometimes gets lost in the chatter.

Cancer (July 17-Aug. 16)
Cancer has this tremendous generous love that you can offer to your mate. The person who accepts this bounty must also realize that your needs for attachment are just as strong. The Cancer’s main weapon is attachment: When you love, you must attach yourself to your loved one. If that person is undeserving of your love, and you cast him/her away, breaking your attachment, it spells emotional doom to that person. Be careful and forgiving.

Leo (Aug 17-Sept.16)
Some days are golden, you reach out and effortlessly the object of your hunger falls into your jaws. Other days the elusive prey manages to wiggle out of your grasp. Some days, you are a formidable creature, proud, strong and attractive. Other days you are a mangy, tired, smelly beast that could’t catch a dead rat. This month you’ll have both kinds of days, arranged on some kind of diabolical schedule that remains a complete mystery to you.

Virgo (Sept 17-Oct. 16)
Virgos work hard and play hard, even though to others, it all looks effortless and easy. Your motto: never let them see you sweat. Spring 1998 is a gamble. There’s a chance for a payoff if you remain calm and maintain a high state of readiness and a good reserve of energy. Work and play will require creativity, ingenuity, persistence, and lots of sweat. Loss of energy will ruin your opportunities, so you need to do all the right things for your body.

Libra (Oct. 17-Nov. 15)
When spring comes, everyone is looking for the flower with the most nectar: that would be you. When people want to have a relationship, they come to the relationship expert, Libra. When people want love, they come to the love master, Libra. People are so full of needs and desires; you can hardly hear your own heartbeat in the cacophony of sexual signals. The balance? Only you can create that jammin groove that everyone can to dance to.

Scorpio (Nov. 16-Dec. 15)
Woe betide him or her who trifles with your emotions. Anyone who dares ask for your love has to accept the fact that they must permanently, abjectly, willingly submit to you. Scorpios ought to wear a warning label: if you have sex with me, I own you forever. Some people have to leave the country to get away from Scorpio. Sex is deep, but power is even deeper. Scorpios can become too controlling. and end up ewarding their lover with a trademark all-night-sexathon, topped in the morning by a patented peeling away of their secrets like onion skin, penetrating into their souls, leaving them as hollow as a PG movie.

Sagittarius (Dec. 16-Jan. 13)
“Je ne regrette rien”—I don’t regret anything—sang archetypical Sagittarius Edith Piaff, the most beloved French torch singer of all time. Born frail and blind into a family of beggars, she was “miraculously” healed at 7, sang in the streets with her father until she was discovered at 15. Her haunting, powerful voice stunned all who heard her. Her records sold millions all over the world, she was a superstar of the 1950s. Piaff earned fortunes and lost fortunes, became addicted to drugs, alcohol, and serial lovers. She suffered from car accidents and poor health; her voice stayed strong till she died at 48 in 1963. Are Sagittarians lucky or what?

Capricorn (Jan. 14-Feb. 12)
Poor Capricorn. Is the source of your troubles in the past, or is it coming up in the future? Whatever, it’s not now in the present. Day to day life can be a tangled web of deceit and dismay or it can be an artful tapestry of intricate ironic nuances. No-one will ever measure up to your standards; if you find such a person, you’re delusional. Adherence to your rigid dogma of profit and loss will lead you and your loved ones to defeat. “No man is an island: when the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.” (John Donne)

Aquarius (Feb. 13-March 13)
You probably thought that in your never-ending search for personal and professional freedom, you’d have to give up friends as part of the bargain. Actually, you are very popular! Friends are all over, waiting to see how deep you want to take them into your secret sanctuary. By all reckoning it won’t be that deep! There’s always a reserve behind your friendly smile. You do ask a lot of people: they have to accept you as you are, yet make a major detour from their own chosen paths to join you on yours.

Pisces (March 14-April 13)
The only sign that could ever successfully pull off a mènage à trois is a Pisces. A Pisces can please two lovers at once, no problem. But can the lovers reconcile with sharing the Pisces? Pisces does not possess, she enjoys; Pisces does not compare, he illuminates. Cabalistic texts often use the horse as a Piscean symbol instead of the fish. In love, Pisces is a stalwart mount, who can have many riders. Only forcing a Pisces to decide between them causes the fickle-fish-personality to emerge, to swim this way and that to avoid the net. Pisces really only wants a little solitude as a reward for their many gifts to lovers and others.